Many years ago my brother and I were TFC (Team Fortress Classic) junkies. Well we were discussing our lives via text and for some reason it turned into TFC.
Me: You need the "Better Job" Upgrade to unlock that achievement, and you don't get it by camping in the re-spawn
Brother: But that's all I know! I gave up on capping the flag years ago, funny how TFC can be a life metaphore
Me: Well we did spend a few rounds playing 2Fort on lifes server, yeah sure the occasional custom map came into rotation and had to be downloaded, and people left the server, but eventually 2Fort once again came into rotation(just had to wait through Canal and sniper maps) but eventually 2Fort came back. Sure right now I'm stuck playing a horrible round of Hunted with Bot snipers. But I know that a gg of 2fort is close at hand.
Brother: Word?
I think I went too deep on the last texts.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Very Few Things Bring a Tear to My Eye
Amazing Grace on the bagpipes at my Grandma's funeral, the birth of my two Son's, me having too much to drink and getting all upset that my sister's engaged (she's not anymore), eating super napalm, hot brat mustard. Those are pretty much the only times I've shed a tear.
Well, I can add a new one to the list, plucking a nose hair. Holy shit did that hurt! I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes! Not sure if it was because it hurt like a sombitch or if was because it was a nose hair, it was a long fucker too! I've pulled ingrown hairs from one of my chins before and it didn't bother me that much, not even that time I went all OCD and re-created the scene from Poultergeist (you know the one I'm talking about). One nose hair, two failed attempts and a lot of courage later, the deed was done, my eyes were watering and I was blowing my nose like a whole ghost chilli got stuffed up there. But it's gone, and I can feel another one taking it's place on my list of annoying hairs I wish I didnt' have.
Sombitch hurt though.
Well, I can add a new one to the list, plucking a nose hair. Holy shit did that hurt! I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes! Not sure if it was because it hurt like a sombitch or if was because it was a nose hair, it was a long fucker too! I've pulled ingrown hairs from one of my chins before and it didn't bother me that much, not even that time I went all OCD and re-created the scene from Poultergeist (you know the one I'm talking about). One nose hair, two failed attempts and a lot of courage later, the deed was done, my eyes were watering and I was blowing my nose like a whole ghost chilli got stuffed up there. But it's gone, and I can feel another one taking it's place on my list of annoying hairs I wish I didnt' have.
Sombitch hurt though.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A Tribute to Halloween Costumes Past
Seeing it's my favoritest time of year, early fall. I figure I'd pay hommage to my past Halloween costumes, I've had some good ones, and some that were just plain odd, but all of them 100% hand made, no going to Halloween Express and buying a bagged costume!
Pre Toys R Us years:
Coming from a middle to lower income family we pretty much made our own costumes, They weren't the lower income costumes, like "I'm a businessman, or I'm a homless person" my mother would work fevereshly over a sewing machine and would make us costumes from scratch using templates and ideas she picked up at the fabric store. Most of them were cutesy costumes like pumpkins, dragons, bats, and convicts. Ther were a couple mentionable ones though. I remember being 4 or 5 and my Uncle Dave (RIP) and my father putting a mixture of corn flakes, mollases and red food coloring on my face and telling me I was a burnt skeleton. Yes it was about as comfortable as it sounds.
I'm prolly one of the few people in the world who never went throught that "I'm too old for Halloween" phase, guess it was my Celtic blood kicking in. Hell I remember dressing up as The Phantom of the Opera when I was 16. I stopped Trick or Treating when I was 14 but I still made the rounds with my sister and cousin's
The Toys R Us years:
Chainsaw Vigilante- Fun costume to make, but I screwed up on the hair, so I just looked like a dude with a cardboard mask in a leather jacket. I think two people figured out who I was.
Furby Hunter -By far the best and most disturbing costume I've ever made, boys thought it was awesome, girls were terrified by my many Furby pelts, plus talking like the main bad guy from "Rescuer's Down Under" really added to the charm. I also wore this costume to a Halloween party, I ended up sitting on a fish lure, and walking around with a coat hanger offering free abortions....I was not drunk.
Teasel Bonne -from Mega Man Legends, Pat and I worked for weeks on this costume trying to get the hair to be horizontal, after trying spray starch, glue and a coat hanger, I finnaly got it. The only problem was I ran out of time and money, and couldn't get the rest of the green costume done. So I improvised and played Teasel Bonne, TRU employee. Not the best role in the world, but I did have fun making the Dark and Brooding "Jonny Magik" break character. Another one of those nights where I lost count of the times he said "I hate you Mike".
TFC Medic -Damn I miss my TFC days! This was a costume I designed and worked on for months...only to have 9-11 ruin it's appeal. Due to the ingornace of humanity, and after being asked if I was from the CDC and people freaking out over Anthrax, my costume was quietly removed and I was forced to walk around the store in camoflauge. I guess a guy wearing a resperator and a salad bowel on his head is a little too over the top for Brookfieldans.
Angry Mike -It was a Sunday, and I was hung over from a prior Halloween party, so my creative juices were not really flowing. I took some grease paint, and made gigantic furrowed brows on my forehead, and changed my name tag to "Angry Mike F" it got some chuckles.
AT&T Years
Not as much of an audience as the Toys R Us, due to being in an office setting and being force to sit on my ass. But I still cranked out some good costumes.
Skeleton couple -The wife and went to a couples Halloween party, and I've always wanted a full skeletong suit, so I went out bought some coveralls and hand painted two skeleton suits that glow in the dark. I'm still impressed with those, they took three weekends to finish, and they even one me $25! This was also the year my brother and I worked on his Dimebag Darrell costume, which he wore several Halloweens in a row.
Drunk Redneck -Big stretch there...but hey it marked my first Halloween party in my own house!! I did a keg stand, lost track of time and puked. It was a good night.
Zombie Mechanic -I decided to dress up as my zombie character from when I volunteered at Fright Fest seeing nobody got to see it. It was pretty hard considering I was sitting in a bar drinking for 2 hours before I had to somewhere else and drink. Sometime during the night I found a pair of vampire teeth and became a vampire zombie. This was also the year my brother dressed up as his wrestling alter ego, UTAR! It was damn hillarious.
Mikegoroth-It was fun running around worshiping Satan and encouraging church burning for a night. Again another exclusive costume some people didn't get. I think it's still my Myspace page avatar, so that should go to show how often I check that.
Abby Monk -An excuse to carry around a loaf of bread and drink Belgian Tripples, feet got cold after a while, just one of the joys of belonging to the Barefoot Brotherhood. Guess I picked this costume to make up for my sinning as Mikegoroth. :D
IRFC Supporter -That's Irish Rugby Football Club, I wore an Ireland rugby jersery carried around an Erin Go Brah flag and for my office portion I refilled and recapped some Guinness bottles with rootbeer and drank from them all day. I also filled a Tullimore Dew bottle with apple juice and chugged it for lunch, then picked a fight with a guy dressed as a Steelers fan. This was my first "Father Son" costume, I dressed Liam up as a beer keg and carried him around while we Trick or Treated with the Niece and Nephew's.
That's pretty much the noteworthy ones, I've got a couple ideas for this year, I just don't know how I'm going to put them together. I'd like to include Casey in my idea but I think it's just gonna be Liam and I.
Pre Toys R Us years:
Coming from a middle to lower income family we pretty much made our own costumes, They weren't the lower income costumes, like "I'm a businessman, or I'm a homless person" my mother would work fevereshly over a sewing machine and would make us costumes from scratch using templates and ideas she picked up at the fabric store. Most of them were cutesy costumes like pumpkins, dragons, bats, and convicts. Ther were a couple mentionable ones though. I remember being 4 or 5 and my Uncle Dave (RIP) and my father putting a mixture of corn flakes, mollases and red food coloring on my face and telling me I was a burnt skeleton. Yes it was about as comfortable as it sounds.
I'm prolly one of the few people in the world who never went throught that "I'm too old for Halloween" phase, guess it was my Celtic blood kicking in. Hell I remember dressing up as The Phantom of the Opera when I was 16. I stopped Trick or Treating when I was 14 but I still made the rounds with my sister and cousin's
The Toys R Us years:
Chainsaw Vigilante- Fun costume to make, but I screwed up on the hair, so I just looked like a dude with a cardboard mask in a leather jacket. I think two people figured out who I was.
Furby Hunter -By far the best and most disturbing costume I've ever made, boys thought it was awesome, girls were terrified by my many Furby pelts, plus talking like the main bad guy from "Rescuer's Down Under" really added to the charm. I also wore this costume to a Halloween party, I ended up sitting on a fish lure, and walking around with a coat hanger offering free abortions....I was not drunk.
Teasel Bonne -from Mega Man Legends, Pat and I worked for weeks on this costume trying to get the hair to be horizontal, after trying spray starch, glue and a coat hanger, I finnaly got it. The only problem was I ran out of time and money, and couldn't get the rest of the green costume done. So I improvised and played Teasel Bonne, TRU employee. Not the best role in the world, but I did have fun making the Dark and Brooding "Jonny Magik" break character. Another one of those nights where I lost count of the times he said "I hate you Mike".
TFC Medic -Damn I miss my TFC days! This was a costume I designed and worked on for months...only to have 9-11 ruin it's appeal. Due to the ingornace of humanity, and after being asked if I was from the CDC and people freaking out over Anthrax, my costume was quietly removed and I was forced to walk around the store in camoflauge. I guess a guy wearing a resperator and a salad bowel on his head is a little too over the top for Brookfieldans.
Angry Mike -It was a Sunday, and I was hung over from a prior Halloween party, so my creative juices were not really flowing. I took some grease paint, and made gigantic furrowed brows on my forehead, and changed my name tag to "Angry Mike F" it got some chuckles.
AT&T Years
Not as much of an audience as the Toys R Us, due to being in an office setting and being force to sit on my ass. But I still cranked out some good costumes.
Skeleton couple -The wife and went to a couples Halloween party, and I've always wanted a full skeletong suit, so I went out bought some coveralls and hand painted two skeleton suits that glow in the dark. I'm still impressed with those, they took three weekends to finish, and they even one me $25! This was also the year my brother and I worked on his Dimebag Darrell costume, which he wore several Halloweens in a row.
Drunk Redneck -Big stretch there...but hey it marked my first Halloween party in my own house!! I did a keg stand, lost track of time and puked. It was a good night.
Zombie Mechanic -I decided to dress up as my zombie character from when I volunteered at Fright Fest seeing nobody got to see it. It was pretty hard considering I was sitting in a bar drinking for 2 hours before I had to somewhere else and drink. Sometime during the night I found a pair of vampire teeth and became a vampire zombie. This was also the year my brother dressed up as his wrestling alter ego, UTAR! It was damn hillarious.
Mikegoroth-It was fun running around worshiping Satan and encouraging church burning for a night. Again another exclusive costume some people didn't get. I think it's still my Myspace page avatar, so that should go to show how often I check that.
Abby Monk -An excuse to carry around a loaf of bread and drink Belgian Tripples, feet got cold after a while, just one of the joys of belonging to the Barefoot Brotherhood. Guess I picked this costume to make up for my sinning as Mikegoroth. :D
IRFC Supporter -That's Irish Rugby Football Club, I wore an Ireland rugby jersery carried around an Erin Go Brah flag and for my office portion I refilled and recapped some Guinness bottles with rootbeer and drank from them all day. I also filled a Tullimore Dew bottle with apple juice and chugged it for lunch, then picked a fight with a guy dressed as a Steelers fan. This was my first "Father Son" costume, I dressed Liam up as a beer keg and carried him around while we Trick or Treated with the Niece and Nephew's.
That's pretty much the noteworthy ones, I've got a couple ideas for this year, I just don't know how I'm going to put them together. I'd like to include Casey in my idea but I think it's just gonna be Liam and I.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Yaaaaaarg!!!
How's a good way to tell you left your MP3 player on all night? Well, when the last song you listened too as you roll into the driveway is Dope Sick Girl by Rancid, and then as you start to leave the next morning Ram It Down by Judas Priest (which by the way is a hillarious song title since Halford came out) is playing and your playlist is not on shuffle. Then your player promplty eeks out it's out last blips and bleeps before retiring due to a low battery, is a good indicator.
As long as we're on the subject of Judas Priest, I've decide that the following Preist songs have taken on a new meaning since Halford came out.
Rocka Rolla:
Deep Freeze
Dying to Meet You
Diamonds and Rust
Sad Wings of Destiny:
Victim of Changes
The Ripper
Island of Domination
Sin After Sin:
Sinner
Starbreaker
Call for the Priest
Raw Deal
Here come the Tears
Dissadent Aggresor
Stained Class:
Exciter
Better By You Better Then Me
Invader
Savage
Heroes End
Hell Bent for Leather:
Delivering the Goods
Hell Bent for Leather
Burnin' Up
Evil Fantasies
British Steel:
Rapid Fire
Grinder
The Rage
Point of Entry:
Don't Go
You Say Yes
All the Way
The album title itself is damn hillarious
Screaming for Vengeance:
Electric Eye
(Take These) Chains
Pain and Pleasure
You've Got Another Thing Coming
Screaming for Vengeance
Defenders of the Faith:
Jawbreaker
Rock Hard Ride Free
Eat me Alive
Heavy Duty
Turbo:
Turbo Lover
Rock You All Around the World
Wild Nights, Hot and Crazy Days
Hot For Love
Reckless
Ram It Down:
Ram it Down (Duh)
Love Zone
Come and Get It
Hard as Iron
Pain Killer:
All Guns Blazing
Leather Rebel
Night Crawler
Between the Hammer and the Anvil
One Shot at Glory
Then Halford left and Ripper joined the band. He's not gay so the couple albums they released aren't as funny. The Halford came back for Angel of Retribution and Nostrodomus, but then the world new he was gay so the song titles aren't as creepy anymore.
As long as we're on the subject of Judas Priest, I've decide that the following Preist songs have taken on a new meaning since Halford came out.
Rocka Rolla:
Deep Freeze
Dying to Meet You
Diamonds and Rust
Sad Wings of Destiny:
Victim of Changes
The Ripper
Island of Domination
Sin After Sin:
Sinner
Starbreaker
Call for the Priest
Raw Deal
Here come the Tears
Dissadent Aggresor
Stained Class:
Exciter
Better By You Better Then Me
Invader
Savage
Heroes End
Hell Bent for Leather:
Delivering the Goods
Hell Bent for Leather
Burnin' Up
Evil Fantasies
British Steel:
Rapid Fire
Grinder
The Rage
Point of Entry:
Don't Go
You Say Yes
All the Way
The album title itself is damn hillarious
Screaming for Vengeance:
Electric Eye
(Take These) Chains
Pain and Pleasure
You've Got Another Thing Coming
Screaming for Vengeance
Defenders of the Faith:
Jawbreaker
Rock Hard Ride Free
Eat me Alive
Heavy Duty
Turbo:
Turbo Lover
Rock You All Around the World
Wild Nights, Hot and Crazy Days
Hot For Love
Reckless
Ram It Down:
Ram it Down (Duh)
Love Zone
Come and Get It
Hard as Iron
Pain Killer:
All Guns Blazing
Leather Rebel
Night Crawler
Between the Hammer and the Anvil
One Shot at Glory
Then Halford left and Ripper joined the band. He's not gay so the couple albums they released aren't as funny. The Halford came back for Angel of Retribution and Nostrodomus, but then the world new he was gay so the song titles aren't as creepy anymore.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Dear, Friends, Family etc.
Please don't assume that because I'm drunk, I'm going to turn into some kind of
belligerent asshole. I think I have a pretty damn good track record of being a drunk. 99% of the time when I'm drunk I turn into a blithering idiot, not some kind of angry wife beating trailor trash.
Also, please note, telling me "I've had too much" when I'm sitting in a chair talking out of my ass is never a good idea. Chances are If it's past 8:30 I'm a combination of drunk and over tired. Just point me in the direction of the nearest floor, couch, bed or comfy chair and let me fall asleep. Don't laught at me and assume I'm soo drunk I passed out. I stopped doing that shit when I was 16. My day starts anywhere between 5:30 and 6:15 and that's after five to six hours of sleep, so come 8 o'clock in the PM I'm ready for bed, but seeing as I'm prolly having a good time if there is a beer in my hand, I will ignore all messages my brain tells me to take my evening BM, shower and go to sleep.
Yeah true, I may not be as fun and exciting as I used to be, but having a two year old son who needs to know that throwing sand at everybody is not acceptable behavior takes some of the "sugar" out my demeanor. I get to be the disciplinarian and have to step in after hearing "Liam we don't throw sand," a thousand times. I have to use my daddy voice and let him know I'm being serious. I don't hit, yell at for no reason or swear at my son. I only give him a swift swat on the butt after the fifth or sixth time or using the "Daddy" voice, and the diaper absorbs all of that impact. After working at Toys R Us for six years I see what happens to kids when they're asked nicely to stop, and take a time out. These are Frahmann boys and the only thing we understand is pain, If it hurts we don't do it again. Which I should also know that yelling has no affect on us. So I guess just like my old man, I'm waisting my breath.
But anyway, back to the point, I'm not an abusive angry man. Just somebody who doesn't get to sit down and enjoy a good drunk as much as he used too. So yes, I can see how somebody would assume I'm overdoing it, and when I have to switch from acting like a 16 year old to Daddy mode, the transition is a little rough. All I want to do is sit around and be social with the company I enjoy. I don't really want to change a diaper or push my kid around in a stroller, I do that shit everyday. I want to involve myself with conversations that I can actaully relate too with my friends, that's something I only get to do once a month or as long as there is some kind of party.
belligerent asshole. I think I have a pretty damn good track record of being a drunk. 99% of the time when I'm drunk I turn into a blithering idiot, not some kind of angry wife beating trailor trash.
Also, please note, telling me "I've had too much" when I'm sitting in a chair talking out of my ass is never a good idea. Chances are If it's past 8:30 I'm a combination of drunk and over tired. Just point me in the direction of the nearest floor, couch, bed or comfy chair and let me fall asleep. Don't laught at me and assume I'm soo drunk I passed out. I stopped doing that shit when I was 16. My day starts anywhere between 5:30 and 6:15 and that's after five to six hours of sleep, so come 8 o'clock in the PM I'm ready for bed, but seeing as I'm prolly having a good time if there is a beer in my hand, I will ignore all messages my brain tells me to take my evening BM, shower and go to sleep.
Yeah true, I may not be as fun and exciting as I used to be, but having a two year old son who needs to know that throwing sand at everybody is not acceptable behavior takes some of the "sugar" out my demeanor. I get to be the disciplinarian and have to step in after hearing "Liam we don't throw sand," a thousand times. I have to use my daddy voice and let him know I'm being serious. I don't hit, yell at for no reason or swear at my son. I only give him a swift swat on the butt after the fifth or sixth time or using the "Daddy" voice, and the diaper absorbs all of that impact. After working at Toys R Us for six years I see what happens to kids when they're asked nicely to stop, and take a time out. These are Frahmann boys and the only thing we understand is pain, If it hurts we don't do it again. Which I should also know that yelling has no affect on us. So I guess just like my old man, I'm waisting my breath.
But anyway, back to the point, I'm not an abusive angry man. Just somebody who doesn't get to sit down and enjoy a good drunk as much as he used too. So yes, I can see how somebody would assume I'm overdoing it, and when I have to switch from acting like a 16 year old to Daddy mode, the transition is a little rough. All I want to do is sit around and be social with the company I enjoy. I don't really want to change a diaper or push my kid around in a stroller, I do that shit everyday. I want to involve myself with conversations that I can actaully relate too with my friends, that's something I only get to do once a month or as long as there is some kind of party.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
It's been a while since this has happened
So it was Awesome Batchelor Night last night! Kid's in bed at 7:30 wife at work until 10:00. You think I sat around, drank beer and watched porno's? Did I sit on the computer and play Left 4 Dead for two hours? Hell, do you even think I sat in front of the TV and watched what I wanted to watch? Nope I drank a beer in the garage, put Liam to bed again (he likes to come in and out of his bedroom at least two or three times before finally calling it a night) busted out the fiddle and practiced that beast for 45 mins straight!
Here's the "It's been a while momment" after practicing for 15 mins, I decided to change my grip on the bow, then it hit me. It was the "Holy cow this makes perfect sense, is that all it takes" momment. Like when you finaly figure out how to perform 90% of Zangief's moves in Street Fighter for the SNES after deciding that he has the dumbest move set ever! Who the hell has the time to do a 360 on the control pad!?!
After the past 6 or so years of doing tasks that required no skill. It was an enlightening momment that I was doing something again that takes skill, patience, practice and time. Not since playing Rugby or TFC have I felt this...good? Granted I'm still a beginner at the fiddle and can't really play much other scales. I know this is something that's going to be with me for the rest of my life. Hell I might even cash in some of my old PS2 games, cause I dont' think I'll need them anymore.
Happy birthday son #1
Here's the "It's been a while momment" after practicing for 15 mins, I decided to change my grip on the bow, then it hit me. It was the "Holy cow this makes perfect sense, is that all it takes" momment. Like when you finaly figure out how to perform 90% of Zangief's moves in Street Fighter for the SNES after deciding that he has the dumbest move set ever! Who the hell has the time to do a 360 on the control pad!?!
After the past 6 or so years of doing tasks that required no skill. It was an enlightening momment that I was doing something again that takes skill, patience, practice and time. Not since playing Rugby or TFC have I felt this...good? Granted I'm still a beginner at the fiddle and can't really play much other scales. I know this is something that's going to be with me for the rest of my life. Hell I might even cash in some of my old PS2 games, cause I dont' think I'll need them anymore.
Happy birthday son #1
Friday, July 31, 2009
One Last Thing Before I Forget
So I'm watching Sesame Street this morning with Liam, Elmo's World to be exact. It's the "Mouth" episode and Mr. Noodle whistles for cab. Nothing funny there right? Well the cab shows up and the driver is a green Muppet with sunglass, a dark green jacket and a mohawk. I then proceed to laugh my ass off!
I then had to explain to my sister-in law why a green Muppet with a mohawk would make me laugh my ass off.
I don't have to explain it to you do I?
I then had to explain to my sister-in law why a green Muppet with a mohawk would make me laugh my ass off.
I don't have to explain it to you do I?
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